The Procrastitute Welcomes Procrasti-YOU!

Procrastitute’s level of procrastitution: 4 hours wasted (so far.)
Work left to complete: Entire methods essay.
Time left to complete it: Until 2:30 pm tomorrow.

I’ve got time to do that. Later.

I’m not sure why I haven’t begun this blog before.
That’s a lie. We all know why I haven’t begun this blog before. Because i’m the PROCRASTITUTE.

or the Procrastiqueen? Hmm… I can’t decide which one I like better.

I’m sure someone else has a blog about procrastinating. Actually, I’m sure there are more than a few procrastination station blogs floating around the interweb.

However… this one is mine.

Why create another procrastiblog when there are thousands circulating?

Because, obviously, I’m procrastinating. So here’s the real question:

Why should YOU read THIS procrastitivity?

Let’s be honest, the procrastipuns are PROCRASTILIARIOUS.

If you keep reading, I promise I’ll stop with that.

Mostly, this blog will be fantastic because I am the QUEEN of procrastination. I am, in fact, THE Procrastitute. Similar to prostitutes, I’m doing something I enjoy and trying to please others. Also, I am poor and I love Amsterdam.

I mean… go with it.

Anyway. I’ve been bugging friends with random links, videos, songs, stories, cartoons, etc. for quite some time, so I feel as though it’s about time I bug the rest of the world.

Enjoy this very first post.

I’ll offer a selection of the web’s best videos, blogs, sites, stories, games, quizzes, songs, pictures, and more. And best of all… neither you nor I will get any work done.


Let’s get started with some of YouTube’s finest.

Here’s a link to the very best music video I’ve ever seen in my life.

For those of you who THINK they know what it is, you’re wrong, but the “Total Eclipse of the Heart” literal version IS hysterical, so I’ll post it on here too.

Total Eclipse of the Heart: Literal Version

I am, indeed, quite the youtube procrasti-….whore. However, I have also recently discovered the magical world of Twitter. Don’t worry.. i’m not actually tweeting — yet. I am finding the most useless, bizarre, ridiculous twitter posts to provide you with some PROCRASTWITATION!*

(*as this blog continues, I’ll realize whether or not my procrastijokes are ridiculous in a funny way, or in an i’m-going-to-procrastikill-you kind of way. Let me know.)

Here are some procrastitweets to start off on a respectable note:

Remember the lovable, always helpful Microsoft Word paperclip? Well, since Apple started to own, he’s been pretty lonely and has been taking his life down a treacherous, typo-filled world. And while he does so, he’s keeping us updated, beer in hand (or… clip?)

It may be the journalism major in me, but I find this Fake AP Style Guide fantastic. Here’s a favorite:

“Advice columns are for helping the public with real problems, not embarrassing ex-boyfriends with tiny penises like Bob.”
And here’s another one: “Do not abbreviate the word ‘fort’ unless the fort itself has been abbreviated and the couch cushions restored to the sofa.”

And on the same note, thank god for the new Twitter style guide, 140 Characters: a style guide for the short form. Hopefully there will be some good tips, such as:

1. Don’t tweet about your bowel movements.
2. Don’t tweet if you’re a 14-year-old girl.

You get the point.

And for those old-school procrastinators out there, (yes I did try to combine old-school and procrastinator but decided it was too much work.) here are some good, old-fashioned websites that will keep you busy for hours.

Awkward Family Photos
I’d say this title is pretty self-explanatory. My favorite is the man with the infant, the monkey, and the mustache.

Fail Blog
I can’t get enough fail. (and some win!) People are dumb, and it’s wonderful when it’s documented.

This little gem will make you feel productive as you procrastinate…mostly because there’s some real news/pertinent world information provided on this site. ┬áSome magical man (or woman) selects recent events and silly sites and lists them for you in a very simple way. Procrastinating has never been this easy… or intellectual!

Last but not least, my ultimate favorite way to put off my life while expanding the noggin:

Slate Magazine

Run by the Washington Post, this fantastic site is in a league of its own, providing entertainment, information, and opinions that are enjoyable to read and easy to get hooked on. Stay up to date with features like “The Olympics Sap-o-Meter”, the latest updates from President Barack “Sex god” Obama’s Facebook page, and of course, this article analyzing why Danes are more…anatomically…gifted than their Finnish neighbors. It’s important to stay up to date with the latest research and events.

And now, readers, it’s time for me to (potentially) begin my homework.

Hours wasted tonight: 6 (so far.)

Until next time! (Which should be soon… maybe… if I get around to it.)


    • Kari
    • March 2nd, 2010

    i came on here to procrastinate more…but there’s nothing else on here since last night

    get on that shit you procrastislut.

  1. Reblogged this on Cup Of Jim and commented:
    I was researching for my “Thailand Calling Dispatch” newsletter, and came across this gem on urban thesaurus: procrastitute. It’s defined as someone who goes out and hires a prostitute or two instead of completing their report, job, homework, chores, etc. I love it! Being the diligent journalist I am, I had to confirm with at least one other credible source. This is what came near the top of Google search, but below urban thesaurus. Not exactly the same, but I love it even more.

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